That are out of your control are the absolute worst. Not only can you start to feel the stress to kick in, but for me, anxiety bears it’s face.

My mind starts racing. I go from simple thoughts of “What am I going to do?” to complex thoughts of “What happens if this happens and then this and that and what if….” 

I know that the situation is out of my hand. I’m typing it out right this moment to distract me. 

As you may know, I’m flying. Not like on drugs or anything but I’m flying in the air. 

My flight was delayed in Dallas by 2 hours. The flight was massively over booked because there are places to which we need to get our bags. 

Long story short, my bag is going to baggage claim in Philadelphia and I’m flying to Stewart. What if I’m late and I miss my flight?

I’m Not trying to shift the blame either, but if you know the flight is full, then why don’t offer to stow bags? There are always preventative measures, and now I’m still on the flight and we have yet to take off (When I post it I’ll have landed) and it’s 13:13. 

Now I’m doing okay at the moment but all the anxious thoughts are running through my head and I’m starting to feel the stress. I think my headphones are in that bag too, so I can’t listen to music to help calm me down. 

I need to wait at least 45 minutes before I can get some water to take an anxiety pill, because I know that I need it or I could ask my neighbor but that’s unlikely. 

The lady yelled at me, and I know that I’m an adult and I can keep it together. But moral of this post, flying can suck and you can be thrown into a shitty situation. It’s not necessarily anyone’s fault, it is what it is. And now that I’ve typed this out I feel better, I do. But I’m in a situation that I don’t want to and didn’t ask to be in

Such is life. 

I think I’m going to will myself to sleep. 

Also, I apologize for a very raw post.

Update: Feeling a whole lot better! Can post another update about it. 



Thanksgiving Vacation

I almost forgot!

Thanksgiving this year was actually pretty decent, considering that it wasn’t overly stressful.

Normally my mother would consistently give me the “evil” eye look if I was consuming too much, and the fact that I didn’t receive it must have meant that I was doing well. Actually, I know that I was because I consciously felt like I was reaching my goals.

On top of that, I wanted to workout every day, but I started bonding more with my dog, Pepper, more than ever before. I would take her out to the trail near my parent’s house and the trail is 1.56 miles on way, and thus, I would do it twice. (1.56 x 2 = 3.12)

Essentially, I was doing a 5K a day, which helped me with my #runcember goal for December. At first, it was a total pain doing that much a day, but then as the week moved on, not only did it become easier, but it was also something that I knew that I could continue when I came back home.

We actually currently have a cat, but a friend of ours is looking to re-home their dog, so if our cat would get along with the dog, I’m sure that I would be more motivated to work out as often.

I believe with the dog, I was more motivated to exercise because I didn’t want to let down the dog, because I always want to make sure that the dog is happy – not necessarily over myself, but I would like the dog to be happy while I’m happy.

But overall, I was so happy to see my family and some of my extended family as well. It made me realize how important it is to spend time with my loved ones.

Thanks for reading, as always,


Flying Part 2

Okay, all, I’m back from my trip, and it was fantastic. However, the one thing that I hate about flying with my boyfriend is that sometimes Delta or other airlines tend to move us around despite the fact that we may have booked the same time, and that we’re sitting right next to each other.

Now, I know that that may not necessarily mean anything because we don’t have the same last name, and such, but doesn’t it seem weird that they would move us around like that?

So on the way there, they separated us both times, and the guy on the first flight was nice enough to let us switch places. Actually, it was the guy sitting next to my boyfriend who came down right BEFORE we were about to take off, and asks me “Hey would you like to sit next to your boyfriend?”

Sweetest gesture ever.

Naturally, in my state of awkwardness, it was like, “Uh, yeah if that’s okay with you,” and so we were able to sit next to each other. Then when we landed in Detroit, we went up to the desk and they were able to have us sit next to each other on that flight.

We also met a woman who was flying out of the same airport as us and going to the same destination which was really cool, because that never happens, like ever.


So on our way back, right before we’re supposed to check in, it turns out that I’m going to Detroit and then Atlanta, and my boyfriend was going to Detroit and then Minneapolis to Oklahoma City (where we’re both supposed to end up, naturally).

Which then means, that we’re not sitting next to one another and we’ve been separated.

Delta was really cool about the entire situation and we managed to get back on the same flight, with us talking to the front desk each time we landed in order to sit next to one another.

And they didn’t move my flight around because I’m a Delta SkyMiles Member, which I later found out. I personally thought that was hilarious.

So I’m not mad at Delta, but it is slightly irritating that they consistently moved us around to their convenience. But we were together for this holiday season, and I will blog about it more, because it was a really successful time that we spent together.

And the day that we flew out was our three year anniversary; three whole years, and I cannot wait to spend a bunch more with him.



Reuniting with People

While I sometimes despise Facebook, and let me be completely honest, because I completely do at times, I love that I can reconnect with people.

Though, to be honest as I’ve mentioned that I have a horrid memory I like reconnecting with people but then they sometimes bring up “hey do you remember this?” Uh, no obviously not, thank you for ruining it for me.

So I “ran into” someone that I haven’t seen for years. And I would like to mention now, that most of my friends happen to be men, just because while I do have friends that are female, it can be so difficult always being friends with them. Either I get stabbed in the back, or something terrible happens. So yeah, not too crazy on that. (I do have Christine and Amber though, let’s not forget).

I would like to say that it’s been almost eight years, if not eight. And he comments on my posts every once in awhile, and I don’t expect us to become best friends instantly again, but it’s nice that people are still thinking positively of me.

I would also like to say that is something that I wish on everyone. I always hope that there is someone that will think about you in a positive way, because there is nothing better than that.

I hope that while I’m on my trip I can stop by and we can just meet up (since he lives in New York City) and I’m also honestly horrid at keeping in touch with people because I do live in the Midwest and it’s not like we can go get a coffee all the time. (Holy crap, talk about a long sentence)

Hope everything is going well with you, if you decided to stop by, and have a happy Thanksgiving week!



Why, yes, I am flying Delta Airlines.

(Actually this post is queued, so forgive me for not having actual current feelings about flying.) But I will say that traveling does stress me out a little bit, and not just in the social anxiety way.

It’s more of like I have to deal with all these other people that I will never see again, and never (probably) even think of again. (Though if I think about it that way, than maybe I should think of them again).

Flying stresses me out because it’s the thought of “What happens if our flight is delayed?” or “What happens if some freak accident happens and I’m stuck somewhere?” Will any of these situations happen? No, probably not, and I just knocked on wood around 15 times just to be absolutely sure.

My parents live in Orange County, New York, and we’re flying into Duchess County, which isn’t too far away. Maybe closer to 30-45 minutes away. It’s a small airport, so it won’t be too terrible, and my flight leaves at 7:40a Central time, and I should be in New York by 6:15p Eastern time. (So naturally I am either at an airport now, or in the air)

I cannot wait to see my family, and I hope that Thanksgiving will be a memorable time, filled with many more happy memories. I also hope that I won’t lose my mind when traveling or get sick. I also hope that I won’t get bored.

I’ll have Pokemon Sun to play for my 3DS, and I got a lot of books to read on my Kindle Paperwhite.

I also always carry on my stuff, and I cannot decide if I want to do a duffle bag again, or if I want to do a backpack, but we’ll see. I think I’ll do the duffle bag to fit in all my makeup and shoes.

Anyways, hope your thanksgiving week is going well, because I know mine will be.

Thank you,