Positivity Month

I know that I mentioned it here, but I thought that I would give some examples on how I’m trying to write down not only common sense, but things that I think people need to hear.

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Also as a PSA – my boyfriend and I did not break up, but I still think that it’s important that these words are expressed.

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I hope that these words will help us over time. Also, if you noticed I changed the tag on the right bottom to my instagram name as well.

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Just so people could find me. I’m doing it for an entire month, so I should be done by March 3rd (30 ish days) but maybe I’ll do it for longer. It’s definitely making me more chill if that makes any sense.

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Hope you like them!!

Kay

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Positivity

Positivity is essentially my theme.

Not sure if you noticed.

So, naturally, on my facebook and instagram I have been posting words of wisdom (and common sense) on pretty backgrounds. It seems that I’ve been getting ~20 likes a day, but I’m glad that someone is just listening to me.

I’d also like to thank Life at Any Size…because I bought an Erin Condren planner again. I had one years ago, and I’m happy that I’ve purchased it. Though my friend calls it my “white girl planner” because I spent $50+ on it. Nevertheless, I love the feeling of being organized and I think it would help me keep on track here as well.

Thanks,

Kay

Generic Goals

Not to sound uber sarcastic about the title, but every year people send out their resolutions, and while I do have goals that I want to continue this new year of 2017, I don’t want to post something and then have someone else remind me (mostly here in person, fyi) that I didn’t follow through with them.

One thing that I do, is that I keep a notepad app on my phone and I write down things that I am working on so I can continue to do what I think is best for me. Then I can also better myself along the way. It’s something that I look at when I start to slowly panic about the future, and as long as I have the space on my phone, it’s a great little tidbit to help me.

I hope to continue my goals throughout the new year, and I hope to continue to post about things that happen in my life so that I can be positive. But for my goals for the new year (they are not in any particular order):

  • Continue weight loss. This one is a given, I lost 14.6 pounds in the last year, and that’s over 2 months and that makes me so thrilled. In 2 months, I made something possible, such as losing weight.
  • Remain positive. I know that it’s easier said than done, but I have realized that the more I stay positive, the less my depression/anxiety hinder me.
  • Continue blogging. This has been life changing for me, because I know now that people are around me that care, and they aren’t “mean people on the internet”.
  • Apply for graduate school. I want to start by next August. Which means it’s time that I get my life in order, and I know that I can do it. I know that it may stress me out, but it’s completely doable.
  • Have a great year. And just in general, I’m ready for the year to whiz by – and that everything goes smoothly. Life is difficult and issues arise, but I want to remember all great things, and just enjoy everything.

I know that it’s generic. But as I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized that it doesn’t matter with what I have, as long as I’m happy. Yes, sometimes I want materialistic goods – because who doesn’t? (my weakness is makeup and clothes, though)

Boyfriend and I may argue, but as long as we have each other, I know that I’ll be happy. I may lose my job, but I have the skills to overcome anything. I can work anywhere, and I can be great at whatever I do. I have learned this about myself, and because of that, I welcome 2017.

Kay x

Last Day of the Year

Happy New Year’s Eve!

Turns out my old roommate is in town, and the boyfriend and I are going to go visit him. He is in the Navy and is stationed somewhere in California (I’ve asked, but I can’t remember so oh well…) When I got the news that I had to find somewhere to live when my roommate wanted to leave (she had her name on the lease so) I was talking to my boyfriend about it and his roommate was basically “Why don’t you live with us to make the rent cheaper?

So he’s pretty awesome. My boyfriend and had only been going out for maybe six months at the time (but we’ve known each other for years) and I had never lived with anyone before that was a guy I was interested in, so it was interesting and I had to move my life around, but it’s been 2.5 years now, and everything seems okay. (Boyfriend and I have been dating for over 3 years now, but you get what I mean)

So, we’re going to Midwest City tonight to bring in the New Year, and I went to my final weight watchers meeting of the year this morning, and everything has been pretty nice and relaxing today, which I am really thankful for.

I have some goals that I hope to achieve for the new year, but at this moment, I’m really happy with how 2016 went, because I did accomplish a lot this year:

  • I graduated. I graduated this August (technically) with my bachelor’s degree in General Sociology, and it took me six years, but I graduated, and that’s an amazing accomplishment.
  • I faced some of my fears. I confronted people that I was afraid of this year, and while it took me a lot of courage to do it, I am a better person because of it.
  • I cut people out of my life. This was hands down the hardest thing that I had to do this year, but cutting people out of my life relaxed me and cut down my stress almost instantly. Some people burnt my bridge and I’m confused to do next if I see them again, but for today, I’m happy.
  • I confronted my weight. I have been overweight all my life, and I never really tried to the extent that I’m trying now, and that gives me some positivity that I’m going to continue next year.
  • I am more interested in being positive. My life has changed more just by making this decision.

Here are five things at the bare minimum that I’ve accomplished this year. And I’m not typing them out so I can just throw them out of the window and continue down a path that I’m not truly interested in –  but in order to move forward we need to count all the things that we’ve accomplished. (woah a long sentence)

I’m thankful to see that my friend set up a makeup tips wordpress (that I don’t think she ever finished) but it opened a door to where I could type out my feelings and thoughts. So thank you for that friend. And even though I have 34 followers, that is 34 people who are a bit interested in what I have to discuss, so thank you.

Hope everyone has a great night, and once again,

Happy New Year

Kay x

Caloric Intake

So last week, (Thursday) my mom and I had a nice long talk about my weight loss and I went to a Weight Watchers Meeting with a friend of mine on Saturday morning. (If anyone had any qualms about how unmotivated I am, I woke up at 7am to be ready for the 8:30 meeting – I normally wake up at 11am) So I signed up for Weight Watchers today, after feeling really motivated about everything and this weekend I took some time to realize how much I eat in a day, which is a lot.

On Saturday, I noticed I actually consume a lot of food, both in calories (I’m sure) and in reality (because we’re not going to count calories) On Saturday, I ate an entire large cheese pizza on my own. Because I was hungry and I knew that I could do it.

That terrifies me.

I wasn’t realizing how much that I could eat until recently. I could easily eat two meals from McDonalds or Chick-fil-a and just be fine after, because one couldn’t fill me. And you know it’s fine when your boyfriend says it because he’s maybe 140 pounds and he’s pretty thin.

So, today, I start. And today, I got up and I worked out. And it was great, because I knew that I could have actually done it. However, it was really hard. Because I was trying my best to stay positive.

Like, “Okay, I’m almost half way there, I can do this”. But, it probably didn’t help that the person next to me was watching the election, and I was bored.

Tomorrow is my first meeting, and while I’m nervous, I’m also excited about it, because while the journey is going to be tough, I can do it. I’m just surprised that I wasn’t aware of the state that I put my body in.

And I want to be healthy. It really isn’t just about losing weight, it’s about being able to live longer so my boyfriend and I can enjoy each other’s company for longer. And so I can be on this earth longer.

Thanks,

Kay

Reality Check

Whenever everything is seeming just okay, always make sure that reality doesn’t sneak up on you. Because when it does, sometimes it just hits you, and you wonder why you forgot about thinking about this and that.

I called my mom today, and we actually had a long talk on the phone, which made me really emotional. We discussed my weight, which I’m pretty close to 300 pounds at this point (give or take 25 pounds) but still close to it.

So, while it was highly emotional, and something that I didn’t even see coming, I can’t get mad at her, because she’s just doing it because she’s worried about me. I mean, she lives in New York, and I live in Oklahoma. I know that she just wants us (as in my other siblings) to live a long, healthy, and good life so we can be together for as long as we can be.

Though, as I type this up, it scares me that I could be killing myself, because I do want to live a long life, but when you get so wrapped up in daily things, you just forget about it. I do want to get married, settle down, and maybe have a child or forty dogs.

So I need to think about how my health can be affected, and I’m glad she said something, as I stated. I just didn’t think that I would get so emotional and teary about it. Which I guess just means that it is important to me as well.

When we disconnected, she was so worried that I would have been pissed, because like I stated in my last post, she did ride my butt about my weight a lot in my youth. But maybe because I’m more of an adult, I can see that she did that because she cares about me and she wants me to be healthy and happy. It’s not just about looking good and being a size 2 or whatever.

So, tomorrow I’m going to call her, and I think I may start weight watchers, because it’s worked for people I know and people that she knows. My friend Christine (the one I did the 5K with) is actually a member and said that she’ll take me to a meeting. Which I’m so thankful for, because I am worried that I won’t get along with other people and I know that it’s social anxiety speaking, but I know that I’m strong and confident when all of that negative melts away.

And it would be nice to actually slim down. I love the stores that I talked about in my last post, but I’ve always wanted to be thinner so I wouldn’t have to worry about shopping in the plus sized section. So maybe it’s time.

I finished my bachelor’s degree, and I’m in the process of applying for graduate programs, I can totally do this, and probably be great at it. Thus, my goal for starting (which may change in the future) is to lose one pound a week. And actually go the gym.

I think it will help because I know once the weight sheds off, I can probably see things more positive and look at the world in a cheery light, versus looking at something so negatively. Because, I’m human and I do that sometimes.

But I think I’m ready. I’ll update it further along, but if I can keep doing this by writing a post a day, then I can really do anything. It’s all about habit and routine. And why not do it while I’m still young before I really mess things up with my body?

Also, image is not mine, but any oceanic or mountain view is very pleasing to my eye, so sorry if it seems that I only like landscapes, but I think that the world is beautiful, even if some people are not.

Thanks,

Kay

Volunteering

Every year, I volunteer at the local zoo for Halloween. But, any event that they need me for and I’m available, I do. Nevertheless, I think it’s so important to volunteer, really at any place.

The importance of volunteering is to give back to the community. I like partaking in Haunt the Zoo at our zoo, because I always meet really cool people, and I feel like I’m helping someone out. Which, I is the most important part.

With me being so busy, it makes it harder, but even if I can’t volunteer during Halloween, I’ll do it for events such as concerts, or 5Ks.

I feel like I use a lot of commas, so I apologize.

Anyways.

I think the best thing that someone can do is to make establishments through volunteering their time. This includes events like this, as well as internships, and other opportunities. But make sure you get paid eventually, because it would be unfair if you(whoever decides to read this, thank you, by the way) don’t get paid for work.

So go out and volunteer and give back to the community; and listen to the Gandhi quote.

 

Kay.