Giving & Taking

I’m sure all of you have seen an image like this before, or this image. And while, once again, it’s not mine, it’s pretty symbolic for me right at this moment in my life.

I’m thankful for the overnight work because it allows me to really think about what I want. I can see my career going in more than one path, and that’s more than okay.

But, it’s also made me think about how I always put what I want on hold. It doesn’t matter what it is, but I always tend to give up my time or my energy for people who just take, take, take.

Don’t get me wrong, I think it is absolutely fundamental for everyone to help out. If you help out someone in your life, you’re already being so much of a help, it’s unexpressionable. (Also, I’m sure that’s not a word, but oh well)

The moment you start to feel your life drain away, it becomes a problem.

For example,

I’ve been helping out a family going through a divorce this last semester. After many conversations with my boyfriend and my friends (who tend to notice that I’m overworking myself faster than I can) I’ve decided that it’s time to stop.

And the more I consider it, the more I realize that I’m 24 turning 25 in June. I have essentially a year and half left (less than that technically) where I lose health insurance. And, I need a full time job, because I would be able to support myself more. I would be able to actually save money. I have two degrees, and I know that if I wanted to (which I do) I could totally go out in the work force and make more money.

And another issue is that I’m too comfortable, it’s time that I essentially grow up, and take the next step.

There is nothing wrong with being a babysitter forever.

But, I no longer can spend time with my boyfriend, who I live with, because now I’m involved in another family. It’s time I stop living for others, and I live for myself.

However, I have yet to tell the family because I am traveling over the weekend (this is a queued post) and her last final (since she is still getting her bachelor’s degree) is on Thursday. I feel like we need to talk face to face, but I’m extremely nervous about the entire situation.

But that is literally for an entire other post.

More to come,

Kay

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