Last Day of the Year

Happy New Year’s Eve!

Turns out my old roommate is in town, and the boyfriend and I are going to go visit him. He is in the Navy and is stationed somewhere in California (I’ve asked, but I can’t remember so oh well…) When I got the news that I had to find somewhere to live when my roommate wanted to leave (she had her name on the lease so) I was talking to my boyfriend about it and his roommate was basically “Why don’t you live with us to make the rent cheaper?

So he’s pretty awesome. My boyfriend and had only been going out for maybe six months at the time (but we’ve known each other for years) and I had never lived with anyone before that was a guy I was interested in, so it was interesting and I had to move my life around, but it’s been 2.5 years now, and everything seems okay. (Boyfriend and I have been dating for over 3 years now, but you get what I mean)

So, we’re going to Midwest City tonight to bring in the New Year, and I went to my final weight watchers meeting of the year this morning, and everything has been pretty nice and relaxing today, which I am really thankful for.

I have some goals that I hope to achieve for the new year, but at this moment, I’m really happy with how 2016 went, because I did accomplish a lot this year:

  • I graduated. I graduated this August (technically) with my bachelor’s degree in General Sociology, and it took me six years, but I graduated, and that’s an amazing accomplishment.
  • I faced some of my fears. I confronted people that I was afraid of this year, and while it took me a lot of courage to do it, I am a better person because of it.
  • I cut people out of my life. This was hands down the hardest thing that I had to do this year, but cutting people out of my life relaxed me and cut down my stress almost instantly. Some people burnt my bridge and I’m confused to do next if I see them again, but for today, I’m happy.
  • I confronted my weight. I have been overweight all my life, and I never really tried to the extent that I’m trying now, and that gives me some positivity that I’m going to continue next year.
  • I am more interested in being positive. My life has changed more just by making this decision.

Here are five things at the bare minimum that I’ve accomplished this year. And I’m not typing them out so I can just throw them out of the window and continue down a path that I’m not truly interested in – ┬ábut in order to move forward we need to count all the things that we’ve accomplished. (woah a long sentence)

I’m thankful to see that my friend set up a makeup tips wordpress (that I don’t think she ever finished) but it opened a door to where I could type out my feelings and thoughts. So thank you for that friend. And even though I have 34 followers, that is 34 people who are a bit interested in what I have to discuss, so thank you.

Hope everyone has a great night, and once again,

Happy New Year

Kay x

Advertisements

Happy New Year!

Sorry for lack of posting! But between the week before Christmas, and New Years I’ve been so busy.

As you may have known, I went home for some time before Christmas which was unexpected, but it was good to be home. But while I was home, I got really sick.

To the point where I missed my original flight home and I stayed for an extra couple days just to get to the point where I could actually walk around and function.

I got home (to Oklahoma) and I had to deal with some stressful situations, and after just relaxing for a bit (and getting a cold, which has been terrible after the stomach bug that I had) I started prepping for the new year.

So mostly, I want to fill this blog in on what happened, so I set some time over tomorrow to blog about some things and then set them up over time.

I just wanted to apologize to everyone if they were wondering what happened.

Also, in the last 2 weeks, I’ve lost a total of 13 pounds, so I’m excited about that.

And I’ve been keeping it off, as well.

So,

Happy New Year everyone (I am aware it’s tomorrow) and I hope to be posting more and more!

Giving & Taking

I’m sure all of you have seen an image like this before, or this image. And while, once again, it’s not mine, it’s pretty symbolic for me right at this moment in my life.

I’m thankful for the overnight work because it allows me to really think about what I want. I can see my career going in more than one path, and that’s more than okay.

But, it’s also made me think about how I always put what I want on hold. It doesn’t matter what it is, but I always tend to give up my time or my energy for people who just take, take, take.

Don’t get me wrong, I think it is absolutely fundamental for everyone to help out. If you help out someone in your life, you’re already being so much of a help, it’s unexpressionable. (Also, I’m sure that’s not a word, but oh well)

The moment you start to feel your life drain away, it becomes a problem.

For example,

I’ve been helping out a family going through a divorce this last semester. After many conversations with my boyfriend and my friends (who tend to notice that I’m overworking myself faster than I can) I’ve decided that it’s time to stop.

And the more I consider it, the more I realize that I’m 24 turning 25 in June. I have essentially a year and half left (less than that technically) where I lose health insurance. And, I need a full time job, because I would be able to support myself more. I would be able to actually save money. I have two degrees, and I know that if I wanted to (which I do) I could totally go out in the work force and make more money.

And another issue is that I’m too comfortable, it’s time that I essentially grow up, and take the next step.

There is nothing wrong with being a babysitter forever.

But, I no longer can spend time with my boyfriend, who I live with, because now I’m involved in another family. It’s time I stop living for others, and I live for myself.

However, I have yet to tell the family because I am traveling over the weekend (this is a queued post) and her last final (since she is still getting her bachelor’s degree) is on Thursday. I feel like we need to talk face to face, but I’m extremely nervous about the entire situation.

But that is literally for an entire other post.

More to come,

Kay

Situations

That are out of your control are the absolute worst. Not only can you start to feel the stress to kick in, but for me, anxiety bears it’s face.

My mind starts racing. I go from simple thoughts of “What am I going to do?” to complex thoughts of “What happens if this happens and then this and that and what if….” 

I know that the situation is out of my hand. I’m typing it out right this moment to distract me. 

As you may know, I’m flying. Not like on drugs or anything but I’m flying in the air. 

My flight was delayed in Dallas by 2 hours. The flight was massively over booked because there are places to which we need to get our bags. 

Long story short, my bag is going to baggage claim in Philadelphia and I’m flying to Stewart. What if I’m late and I miss my flight?

I’m Not trying to shift the blame either, but if you know the flight is full, then why don’t offer to stow bags? There are always preventative measures, and now I’m still on the flight and we have yet to take off (When I post it I’ll have landed) and it’s 13:13. 

Now I’m doing okay at the moment but all the anxious thoughts are running through my head and I’m starting to feel the stress. I think my headphones are in that bag too, so I can’t listen to music to help calm me down. 

I need to wait at least 45 minutes before I can get some water to take an anxiety pill, because I know that I need it or I could ask my neighbor but that’s unlikely. 

The lady yelled at me, and I know that I’m an adult and I can keep it together. But moral of this post, flying can suck and you can be thrown into a shitty situation. It’s not necessarily anyone’s fault, it is what it is. And now that I’ve typed this out I feel better, I do. But I’m in a situation that I don’t want to and didn’t ask to be in

Such is life. 

I think I’m going to will myself to sleep. 

Also, I apologize for a very raw post.

Update: Feeling a whole lot better! Can post another update about it. 

Kau

Current thoughts

It dawned on me (literally at dawn) how it all requires perspective. 

And obviously I’m not the first one to connect the dots on this one. I’m not going to take credit for such a common sense thought.

However, I do think that everyone needs a chance to fly. 

It’s freeing and as I stated obviously before, it puts everything into perspective. As I fly over Oklahoma into Texas I remind myself that I can’t keep living for others.

Dreams only happen when we work for it.

So why should I put my dreams on hold for others when they wouldn’t do the same for you? (actually I don’t know for sure of that’s true but considering that I’m on her payroll, I doubt it

Therefore, as I have the Sun’s rays graze my face from inside this aircraft, I implore you all to remember that we may only get one shot at life so why waste our time in a career we don’t love, or a relationship that you know won’t last? 

More posts later! (Maybe)

Kay

American Airlines

So as I booked this flight, that I am on today, it dawned on me.

“Oh! I can fly from Stillwater because of American Airlines, yay!”

No.

After I booked my flight, I realized why I’m not a fan of American. I pretty much need to pay for every little thing, and that really frustrates me. Yes, Delta is a more expensive airline, but at least if I ask for a water they won’t be like “Four dollahs”

And, I’ve never flown out of Stillwater before, so I’m a bit nervous about it as well.

Also, I’ve flown alone before, but I’m a bit nervous about flying alone this time, because I’ve been flying with my boyfriend. And I love doing that, so now, I get to be alone, and hopefully get some rest on the flight.

I have some issues when flying, like I am consistently aware of how overweight I am, and I don’t like to draw attention to myself when I don’t know people. (But if I know you, I’m pretty loud)

I hope it won’t be too terrible, and I will be airport-ing for about 12 hours on Thursday, and about the same on Monday.

Hope I make it in one piece and they don’t lose my luggage.

Final Overnight

I am so thankful, for tonight, the shift that I am currently working is my last overnight that I’m working for the winter semester. Or technically even the year, since for some reason it just occurred to me that it’s almost January (ish)

Working these overnights have been tough because I’m awake for “weird” hours.

It also makes me thankful for food places that are open 24h because while I always thought “Who would ever go to those at 3am?” I now understand, that I am that individual.

It’s still going to be a bit hectic in my life until Tuesday, where I think my life will just even out (hopefully).

I’m flying back to New York tomorrow for some personal reasons which I’m looking forward to and not at the same time. Thus, I am now trying to queue posts so my blog isn’t too empty.

Please bear with me as time goes on, I’m still thankful for the 30 followers that I have right now. Thank you again, because it reminds me that people out there may want to hear what you have to say.

So the queued posts have to deal with some stuff going on in my life, and how sleep-deprived college kids amuse me. (Since I am technically an alumnus and therefore am not currently enrolled in classes)

Hope all is well with all of you,

Kay