Okay, so about three months ago, a girl that I met through my best work-friend suddenly died. And we knew each other for about six to eight months, but we’d gotten close. Now, she left behind her fiance, and while I was worried about my work-friend, I was really more concerned with how he was doing because they were practically married. Also, I’d like to point out that she lived in a different state than me and my work-friend (I’m not naming any names, or at least I’m trying.)
Anyways, so don’t get me wrong, I was completely and totally crushed, but it just makes me realize how differently I handle grief. I get really upset, and then I kind of just take it all inside of me (Like I’m eating 3 cakes, or something extreme like this) and I digest it.
I can see that it is still hard for her significant other, (obviously, they were living together, and it was so sudden and she wasn’t even that ill) and then I know it was hard for my work-friend. But from some others, I get remarks like: “You don’t even seem to be that upset” or “Didn’t you care about her at all?
And, obviously, that’s not the case. I just have this feeling that she’s just hanging around with us, and wants us to be happy. I’ll get sad, or maybe the better word is melancholy, but why should I just weep?
Just thinking about one of my parents dying literally suffocates me. I think it’s because they’ve known me since birth, so the grief would be different. Well, people have been slightly very rude about it, and since this is an area where I can explain how I feel, I thought this would be best.