We all know what depression is, so I’m not going to state what it is, there’s no point.
Depression shows up in different ways for all of us, for some people it’s crippling, for some it shows up in suicidal tendencies, and others it may show up as something that makes them feel unmotivated.
I have been depressed probably for more than a decade, at first my parents thought that I was just “being a teenager” and then my sister told my mother that I may be suicidal. It was up until then that I honestly had never considered it, but even after I thought about it, I could never do that my family, so next.
Honestly my depression hits when I realize that everything isn’t as okay as I say it is, so in a way, my reality starts to disperse around me. I start to think that everything is okay, and I’m doing well when someone or something happens to bring me back to Earth.
This was literally a never ending cycle for the longest time. And so, I decided that enough is enough with the cycle above.
Instead, every day I remind myself that I’m real. That everything is going how it should be, and that if I want to live my life the way that I envision it, and even if it comes crashing down, I’m going to be okay.
Don’t get me wrong, sometimes I literally roll my eyes at myself, but this little “mantra” seems to work the best as I work out. I don’t like being outside, so I take vitamin D, (I sweat a LOT, and I’ve overweight).
Because it helps me a lot, it’s cope-able. Nevertheless, sometimes I wonder if I will ever be “better” but if it helps me in the long term, then it’s the best course of action, in my opinion. (Also apparently copeable isn’t a word, which makes sense, but my tired brain is slightly confused by it.)