For as long as I can remember, I’ve always felt like I was overweight. Mind you, I’m 24 years old, so this includes over a decade of feeling.
I don’t know if it’s because I was never satisfied with how I look or if I just conformed to society’s views. Whatever the cause,it has always haunted me.
I wish that I could lie to the scale and make it say a magical number that would make me happy, but I’m also terrified that if I got down to that weight, I wouldn’t be happy.
It’s not that I don’t exercise or eat right, but it probably has to do with the fact that I don’t have a consistent eating/sleeping schedule. But, at this point in my life, I don’t know if that would help.
My weeks are hectic, because I’m always waking up at different times. On Saturday’s I have to be at work at 9:30am so I wake up around 8:30 so I can get up and do makeup and everything else. Sunday’s I work 12hours from 11:00am to 11:00pm, and that’s when I’m at work.Mondays I don’t have to be at work until 2:30 so I like to sleep in to around 10:00am because I’ll be at work until 10:00pm. Not to mention that Friday is my only day “off” and most of the time I don’t use it to relax because I’m running errands for others or I’m on call.
That long paragraph wasn’t me complaining, I’m just trying to show that I don’t have a consistent schedule. That, and I’m working two jobs, and trying to get on to another, because bills don’t pay themselves.
Anyways, back on topic.
Even with me working out everyday, which includes cardio after I wake up, I’m still not dropping weight, which makes me think that I’ll be forever stuck at a size 18, and with a double chin.
Life goal wise, I want to lose the Weight because I want to be down to at least a 10 or 12. I know it’s possible, but maybe I need to restructure my life so I have a “normal” schedule.
Anyways, I’m an adult and I want to have realistic expectations about my life and I really want to be able to achieve my dreams and goals.